Friday, December 28, 2007

"Took me longer than what I expected"

Yeah.., I worked on a project and I consider it to be the best project in my organization. Though we missed the deadlines thrice and now we are shipping it mid next year it doesn't matter. What matters is what we learn and how we are going to come up with a better fool proof plan... but how?
Answer is Postmortem.

Waaat... Yeah Postmortem. Clarification of what was unclear and blame ones own self is the key to move ahead.
Start from the features never worked on but still alive in the documentation. These are the features that are like walking dead bodies... they are the pain in the butt and can't be punted forever. All I can coin them as neither dead nor alive yet existing. Catch your stakeholders from their collar and ask them "Do you want it or not?" but be prepared to provide the idealistic estimates of the timeline. Weekly status broadcasts and e-mails, reports meeting notes will help you track where you are going.

hahahhaha I know we are aware of this and follow this in every organization but, do we follow it for the whole project life cycle. Why is it that during the sunset we all have the same statement "it took me longer than what I expected". Dude, always consider yourself as a vendor/contractor and think will anyone give you a project ever if you say: "it took me longer than what I expected"

Lets ship it...

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

...Learning from Bollywood....

Lover Boy Govinda

Angana mein Baba , dwarey pe Maa

Kaise aau gori , main tohre ghar maa

Lover Gal Shilpa

Khet gaye baba , bajaar gayi maa

Akeli hu ghar ma , tu aaja saajna...

This song starts with ChiChi (Govinda) who cant wait to enter Shilpa Shirodkar’s house, and he also fears that her folks might be at home and Govinda might end up with a sore ass.

Shilpa finally relives the lover boy telling him that her pop is workin in the fields and her mom is out shoppin… and invites him home.

What happened next is hahahahah even I dnt knw… never watched the video nor I am interested in. But the moral of the above two lines is hook up with a gal whose father is a farmer and her mom loves shoppin ;-) you might have a chance to sneak in.

Long way to go Bollywood...

Lover boy Govinda

Your pop is in the courtyard and your mom is door watching

Ohh tell me how do I enter your home darling

Lover Gal Shilpa

Dad’s in the fields and mom’s out shopping

walk in through the door Ooo dear darling...

Friday, December 14, 2007

"He who rides the tiger can never dismount..."

“When a man kills a tiger, he calls it sport; when the tiger kills a man, he calls it ferocity. The distinction between crime and justice is no greater.”


Tiger a graceful built, royal yellow coat, beautiful black stripes… damn they are so fascinating and graceful I can never take my eyes off them. I think God made cats so that man can experience to some extent how it feels caressing a Tiger. I wish I can caress a Tiger.
Indian tigers, the Royal Bengal tigers they are the most graceful species on this planet.

… may they never be a story like mammoths or dinosaurs. A tribute to Tigers...


Thursday, December 13, 2007

It's not the years in your life... It's the life in your years... Live it

I heard someone complaining: “Ah I wish life was simple…”

FUCK YOU… Life's simple.

To many of us it might sound alluring, impossible or just a wish… but I strongly believe that Life is Simple. But what is difficult is, to state what a simple life is. Actually a simple life’s definition may vary from tongue to tongue. For many of us a house, rewards at work, no challenge, no competition, ten hours of sound sleep and a hot sexy not demanding life partner makes a simple a life… for others it may be rest all day, fairy land, beautiful sunny day, a lot of money.

Grow up this place is not a fairy land… you gotta do something to live a simple life. All I want to say here is to live a simple life one need to….

"Live with Intention… Know exactly what you want… work towards it… things can’t be achieved with a wink of a magic spell… give it some time… Re-evaluate yourself sometimes with a question “Do I really want this”

I think life is simple

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

..If you can read this, thank a Teacher....

A teacher in Ujjain, India was killed by students on 26 Aug 2007 a few days before we celebrate Teachers day (5 Sept). What has happened to the sanity of students?
I agree that all teachers today are not "TEACHERS" but even a "teacher" doesn't deserve this. I read this NEWS and was really disappointed with my own generation.

Strikes, hooliganism, roits,
are always fun in college but do you think you'd like to boast about them as a grown up. Will you like your own chicken(kid) to do the same. Politics in college, why the fuck do you need it. Elections are fine but intrusion of political parties is a question. This incident made me think that all we are coming up with is a lot of Hooligans and Dumb asses.

Times of India NEWS link

Just in case if the above link doesnt work below is the NEWS from Times of India

UJJAIN: Meters away from the place where professor H S Sabharwal was brutally killed in the students' elections violence at Madhav College on August 26, his colleagues took out a silent procession wearing black bands and walked two kilometers to pay homage to the dead teacher on the occasion of Teacher's Day.

Schools and colleges remained closed and, in response to the state-wide bandh called by the Congress, shopkeepers also pulled down shutters for the first half of the day.

Former chief minister and AICC general secretary Digvijay Singh also came to meet the bereaved Sabharwal family on Tuesday. "The Congress will not abandon the family of professor H S Sabharwal.

“We will fight for justice in the streets, in the state assembly, in the courts and take the issue to the people," Singh said.

"Action should be taken against all those responsible for the incident including members of the NSUI and ABVP," he said, adding that the case should be handed over to the CBI.

On Tuesday, as the rest of the country celebrated Teachers' Day, Ujjain mourned. Congress took out a massive rally in Ujjain on Tuesday evening protesting against the assault on Sabharwal. While tension was reported from Jabalpur following the bandh with ABVP activists trying to prevent NSUI from attempting to forcibly close down shops and business establishments.

In contrast, however, the BJP-ABVP combine were in celebration mode. More than 50 BJP-ABVP members went to the Bhairogarh Jail to felicitate Shashi Ranjan Akela, one of the two accused of attacking Sabharwal. Akela is also part of the teaching faculty of Lokmanya Tilak Mahavidyalaya in Ujjain.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Frenzz are Gettin Married and I am Gettin Drunk

Weddings tend to happen in clusters. Seems as if wedding chimes are ringing everywhere lately. I received thirteen marriage invitation this year from my friends. I think its time do get drunk and dance.

When I was 21 a couple of my frenz got married and now when I am almost 25 another bunch is following them. I am wondering what is going around me, am I late or they are in a hurry.

At work one of my colleague was playing with his engagement ring in a meeting and I commented that you are supposed to wear it all the time. This person(age 28) thought for a moment put it back on, looked at me and smiled. Meeting continued and after 5 mins he said, “I think I need a break; are you getting married soon sometime?

I think nothing could be better if you found the love of your life and are planning to get settled. Its all your life and its all upto you but what I don’t agree is why people are in such a hurry to get settled. Do they think that they might move on or do they think that its enough staying away from each other n lets get a license to stay together.

All I want you to warn is that now you can no more step in late at home without making a call. You might not be able to ask someone out for dinner, you wont be able to work over the weekends or late. On top of it no more cereals or soup for dinner, no more late nyte calls, no more chit chating, text messaging to gals whom u used to flirt with, no more getting drunk(damn it I cant afford all that).

My most horrible thought of getting married is that I can never live alone again. I wont be able to sleep at 6pm and get up at 11pm to go to a casino or start working. I would hate to hear that my keypads click and table lamp are bothering someone to sleep. Especially the thought of someone telling me that I swear a lot bothers me. I am yet not ready to give up all those sportstar and rockstar posters from my bedroom... i dont have a closet big enough to accommodate extra clothing... neither i am ready to play soft music or for candle light dinners.

Throughout my school I was sure about the girl I loved, throughout my college I was sure about another gal I was in love with, throughout my masters I thought that i am in true love and was sure about the gal I was truly in love with and now at work I am some how not searching for love though but I still wonder if I'd have married any of them then was that the right time for me. Will I have to change my life style once married. My priority is to find my own success before I think of getting married. I want to rather grow into my own. I want to be extremely independent and then think of getting married.

I present my hearty wishes to all my frenz who are getting married in next six months. But remember me you can always have a late nyte cereal bowl for dinner at my place whenever you feel like. :)

Found this lyrics some where so posting it here for my dear frenz:

Well all my friends are getting married
Yes they're all growin' old
They're staying home on weekends
They're all doin' what they're told
But I'm caught up in this magic
I'm all caught up in the fun
I'm all caught up in this music
Maybe I'll never have a son

Well I looked into the crowd the other night
And I saw an old familiar face
He said "How are you doin' Shirl my boy?"
He said " Tell me, are you still playin' the same old place
I asked him all about himself
And he said that he was married with a kid
Showed me a picture of his wife
And we talked about all the things we did

Well sometimes I feel like I'm left behind
And sometimes I feel like I just left school
Wonder if I'll ever grow up
Maybe I'm the only fool

But I'm all caught up in this magic
Yes I'm caught up in this fun

I'm all caught up with this music
Well maybe I'll never have a son

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Fan for a life time...!!!!


I believe in Once a fan always a fan... I simply adore Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf.



Saturday, November 17, 2007

I am in red... and red is becoming darker

Nov 8, 2007 Seattle, WA... DOW went down significantly. Everyone who had invested in Stocks was mourning. At some place in Redmond/Bellevue there was an e-mail thread between friends which started as :
"Bhaiya yeh maiyaat nikali ja rahi hain stock market ki. aap sab sadar aamantrit hain..."; meaning Brothers seems like its the funeral of stock market lets all get together and mourn".

From the other end someone replied as:
"
I think I will lead the procession"
(this person is a major smart investor and he some how managed to step out of that blow in even)

and finally came the golden words from the champion who unintentially says something, who is considered to be the most naive member among my frenz and those words were the golden words which left an impact on me and I couldnt resist myself and blogged :

"Lol I am in red from past 1 month .. red is becoming darker for me now
But I love this game"

And what happened after this was that all those who were on the thread ended up in a Casino in the evening around 8 and played till 2am. It really didnt matter for anyone that nite whether they stepped out red(loose) or green(win).... They all love this game :)

Friday, November 16, 2007

.... Microsoft Proves again....

I love notepad... u hit Start--->Run on my windows box u'll find notepad in the text box. Click Start and look into the menu notepad is at the top of it. At any given moment you will find atleast 10 notepad files on my desktop.

If people ask me
whats the difference between Windows 95 and Windows 98 I say 3 years, but if asked what is the most stable thing by Microsoft I say notepad. Its been there since i started using Windows 3.1. I remember the days when these OSs prompt for the security login instead of providing a password u can hit Esc and you are good to fuck with the machine (though the OS itself is capable to fuck it) but notepad was always in place. Anyways back to the point, I am a hardcore fan of Notepad. Its so simple so light never crashes blah blah blue blue and I wondered that how the fuck is there somthing by MS that is so stable. VOILA they proved themselves once again... I am so happy that I was wrong. I wont say a word now all I want you, is to try this:

TestCase:

  • Open up Notepad (not Wordpad, not MSWord nor any other word processor)
  • Type in this sentence exactly (without quotes): "this app can break"
  • Save the file to your disk.
  • Close Notepad
  • Open the saved file by double clicking it.

Expected Result:
this app can break

Actual Result:

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
"Fill it in the comments of the blog"


Saturday, November 10, 2007

A lovely Innocent Desi Profile.....

Orkut has been an important part of daily life for desi's. Me being a Desi is not an exception either lolzz... n being a desi I'd love to blog a typical Desi profile in my space. For Desi's orkut is as important as brushing our teeth, using a loo, eating, drinking. Orkut for us is a means of finding old school mates/old romance, dream love of our life, being lucky some day ;) etc...

So here is a typical Desi Profile on Orkut....!!!!!

Orkut Profile of Mr/Ms ABC XYZ

Question

Answer

My Comments

About Me

Well to descibe me in short is really not possible and too boring. Just in short I am simple, cool easy going GUY

Desi’s/We cannot describe ourselves. We are always speechless and are pretty short of words ;) Guy is our favorite word

Here for

friends, activity partners, business , networking, dating(women)

Dating Women is must for boys as this is always an excuse when scraping random girls :P

Sexual Orientation

Straight/Open Relationship

I don’t know why but a lot of desi’s/We think that open relationship means Open and Relationship and this means cool

Passions

Cars, cricket, movies

Always passionate about cars and movies this all we dream of all the time driving nice cars and dining with superstars

Living

With partner

For us many times roommate is a partner

Books

Not for me/ Not Maah cuppa Tea

Hahahah I love this part they are never for us... sometimes the reply is course books.

Cuisines

Indian, Italian, Mexican, anything that my mom cooks.

This is all what we like. Mexican==Burito

Italian==Pizza

Indian==anything

For us there is nothing like Thai, Mongolian Vietnamese, Irish ;), scotish. Experiments with somthing new NOWAYZ. Our moms love to cook

TV Shows

Laughter Challenge

Ask them to crack a joke and they will crack a PJ

Movies

DDLJ, DTPH, T1 2 3, MI 1 2 3, Matrix all

Yeah this all we have watched since our childhood n this is what we will keep watching. Recently we have started liking forest gump a lot.

Industry

High Tech, Computer Software

No Comments

Turns Off

Lies, Hypocrisy

Look who’s talking

my idea of a perfect first date

Walk on a Beach, candle light dinner

This is what we dream of. Most of us have seen a b’ful beach of Mumbai (Pun Intended for a b’ful beach )

Past Relationships

All Men are dogs/ All girls break heart. Or Relationship hurts, stay away from them.

We are/were all ditched in love this is our sad story… another truth is this most of us never let our love know that we love them and then we start thinking they ditched us. Yeah we are lovely desi’s

five things I cant live without

Food Water Mom Music Friends

Cant think of anything else…


I wanted to write this in the table above but thot tht wont be a justice to this section. So heres a seperate discussion on MUSIC

We all have the same taste when comes to music. We love Himesh Reshamiya, Atif Aslam, Lata Ji, "can listen to anything depending on the mood" Backstreet(larger then life), Boyzone(words), Linkin park(In the End), Metalica (Nothing else matters), Bryan Adams(Summer of '69), Eagles(Hotel California), Ricky Martin(Livin la Vi da Loca), Enrique (Bilamos), Pink Floyd( Another brick in the wall -II)

Notice that we(Desi's) listen only to one song of each and these performers rock our world :)

See Ya Guyz, Dude, Man (our Favie words to address each other)........



Tuesday, October 30, 2007

...Dream contd....

It all started for me with the statement

A teacher is better than two books.

My school Hartmann College Bareilly. I miss my school, there are a 100 things I love about it but there are other 100 things which as a grown up I will never agree to. Me and Saurabh Agrawal a school time friend already have a deal that we will open a school. I have a picture of that school in my mind but Saurabh is the one who will actually work towards it. I never said this to him but I have a feeling that he will agree to my plans and both of us together can make a better place for kids and teens to seek education.

There is a theory that kids don’t like to go school and teens don’t want to miss school but they like to miss classes. Lolzz out school will be a place where be it a kid or a teen they’d love to spend time.

Our school will have:
Co-education A kid that qualifies for the class girl/boy is welcome to the family. They study together, they play together, they make friends and they respect each other.

Teachers they need to pass a rigorous procedure of interview. They need to convince the panel that kids are supposed to be mischievous but its us who can make sure that mischief is in a disciplined manner. If a teacher is found punishing a student physically I will make sure that he/she cannot be a teacher ever again.

20 students to a class a teacher can call all of ‘em by their name.

Eight hour work days with breakfast, lunch, tea, supper & evening time for breaks.

2 Sports fields where the sports of the world would be practiced and taught and 1 indoor arrangement for badminton and Table Tennis. Instructors for all kind of sports. Instructors who love what they do, not those who cannot do anything else therefore they chose the sport.

1 library (fiction & magazines, non-fiction), discussion rooms & reading & writing areas.

Dining Area here students would dine. They will decide what needs to be cooked every month and they will see to the quality of the food served. Dining rooms responsibility is students. They would serve & clean up the meals & eat with their teachers at their class tables -- just like at home!

Miscellaneous 1 music room, to hold an orchestra, 1 swimming pool, 1 fully equipped exercise room. 1 art studios, for public display & sale, a science lab for all things scientific, a medical clinic, a completely equipped computer center, a well-endowed entertainment viewing room, a fully equipped stage, theater.

Nurses and Doctors will be appointed to teach us about our health, sexuality, hygiene, exercise, sports, biology. Classes entirely devoted to reading and writing will be conducted.

Sports Meet, Technical Fest, Cultural Fest will be conducted annually.

NO HOMEWORK
other than reading or writing assigned or chosen themes. Each class would have a homework time. The teacher in attendance so individual questions could be quietly asked & tutoring given.

As grades are given to students teachers will be graded too. All students will submit this anonymously. Any teacher found conducting private tuitions will have to RESIGN.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

A Dream... that will come true...


Okies, So here I receive another comment on my blog… a dearo fren of mine just said: “Hey dumbo... you never wrote since that day? HAHAHA”

Hey Jeena your comment just kindled a little fire in me. I don’t know till when will it last but here comes another one.

I read a blog about day dream one day and I thought I also wanted to pen it down. My dream; my day dream. I love to share it unlike others… I am not bothered if people find it amusing, I am not bothered if they say are you nuts… because I dream it everyday and I love to dream it. My dream leaves me happy and smiling.

Now what I am about to say is something that you will never believe. My Day dream is going to come true Yayyy… it won’t be a dream for me forever, this dream is what drives me. My best fren, my motivation, my amusement, my everything, this day dream is always with me.

I want to be a farmer. Knocked out knowing that I am a software professional; another nerd in the herd. Don’t be… because this is what I am when I spend time with me.

I will own fields somewhere in Uttaranchal, India. Why Uttaranachal… visit it once and you’ll have the answer. It’s the heaven of India. It has a freshness of its own u can smell it and you will fell in love with this place.

My dream even describes what I want to grow where I want to live. I dream of a home facing East (I love sun rise), with a field to its right and a field to its front. I might have a mango groove to its left and may be some other farmers field behind it. Rice and wheat will be my seasonal crops. I day dream to own cows and a horse. I will milk my cows every morning… thank them for being mother to us. I day dream of dusk riding on my horse staring at my fields and be proud... I day dream boasting and bragging about my fields about my crops... I day dream myself old coughing and smoking at the machan of my fields... I day dream of drinking water from a tube-well... I day dream of chasing cows and cattle from my fields… I day dream myself done with the day in my fields with a smell of sweat and mud in my clothes and I know the truth that MY Dream will come true as me being a farmer J

There is yet more to come my Dream #2… a school. Waiting for the fire to kindle again... Adios till 'en

Friday, October 05, 2007

A Typical day; my schedule.... DAMN It but I love it

Note: FUCK can be replaced by What the Fuck at times

7:00 am:
Get up get ready.. go to gym or swim...

8:30-9:00 screech FUCK... my back is aching. check e-mail... switch to a soccer channel get ready while listening to it... have coffee with laptop and commentary from TV...

9:00-9:30:
Bitch about the traffic I am on my way to work...!!!!...WTF

9:30-11:00
: Reach office, open outlook yell FUCK.... check email and respond (to queries). Bugs, status reports, design discussions, and other questions communicated by email...

11 - Noon: Pick up work where I left off yesterday or work on some of the problems sent to me by email.... take periodic breaks, including coffee surfing the web for more information on a problem I am facing, checking email, talking through a problem with colleagues...!!!! and then tell some of 'em FUCK I already have enough work on my plate...!!!!

Noon - 1:00: Time for lunch... go to cafe look around and yell again... FUCK same ole shit... m not eating here and 'en stand in the queue...!!!! Grab lunch start chit chating about sports and end chit chat again with problems....!!!!!

1:00- 1:30: Grab coffee and yell again FUCK... m so sleepy. Once a week we have a status meeting of the entire development team, including the developers, the testers, the project manager, and the quality assurance staff. We discuss project progress, some design details, release schedules, etc.

1:30 - 6 or 7: Work Again, I take periodic breaks. Sometimes when I need a break, I move around the workspace... disturb others grab my football and start playing, go get more coffee or read NEWS. While on move I keep knocking doors.... yell at others and show them the bird... with a word FUCK u....!!!!

Finally 7:00 sales people are leaving... managers going home... you are packing stuff... and then comes a call from Offshore "I need Help" n wat you say again is FUCK....!!!!

7:00 - 9:00 Starts the fun ride... u are talking and listening and problem solving and finally you have to say... FUCK m really tired... I gotta go home e-mail me and I will reply....!!!!


9:30 - Midnight: TV, laptop, and a soup....!!!! and then you realize that the team you were backing up lost the match whether it be NBA NFL NHL Cricket etc... and again you say FUCK...!!!
3 times a week you crash on the couch itself... other lucky days you sleep on ur bed...!!!!

Now a typical generalized schedule... :)

A typical day depends on what phase of the Development Cycle we are in. Phase I is the design phase. There are lots of meetings up to 40% of the time you end up discussing the design specs, functionality, etc. Phase II usually has very few meetings and a lot of sitting at the computer and coding, testing. Phase II.5 comes up with a blow for PMs and stakeholders as there always are feature cuts ;-) this makes room for a release X.1 which is the bread & butter for software industry. Phase III, the delivery stage, can mean a lot of late hours as deadlines are close and project has definitely slipped deadlines twice in Phase II :D...

I also spend a lot of time finding/filing bugs, compiling code, and bitching about softwares I use. In addition, I may respond to technical questions from staff, clients, program managers... and may help with testing with other wing members and installing and mentoring newbies. I may also attend some sales meetings to be aware of the where the Organization is going...!!!!