Sunday, March 30, 2008

"Permanent Solution to a Temporary Problem"

TOI has this section My times My voice. One of the questions opened to comments goes something like:

Another Class XII student committed suicide on Sunday, unable to take the immense pressure of exams. There has been a string of cases where students have preferred to end their lives than take on the boards.

Would students feel less stressful if board exams are totally scrapped?

I don’t know who the fuck is the editor to raise such an idiotic question, which in itself makes no sense.

I’d say don’t mourn on such people’s death. Its good for the society that the jerk suicides. People like this student have will-power enough to overcome their basic instinct, to overcome their common senses but they don’t have the will power to face the slings of life. I think this is a direct synonym to cowardice. It takes courage to live and death is merely an excuse to escape.

Look at people who commit suicide… tell stories about them, laugh at them, mock them call them coward. If you can't cherish your life on earth, then you are not supposed to enjoy eternity either.

Please for fucks sake don’t give me a lame statement “It takes a lot of courage to hold that knife, to jump from sky, to stand on the roof, to grab that rope, to gulp that dope...” I’d say it takes a lot of courage to face the life and live it. Life’s a show, clap for it only when the director ends it.

Giving up on class XII exams… and blaming the expectations from folks n tutors. Ok, cool enough they expect a lot sometimes may be because they want to see their ownself in us. So what’s wrong with that? They brought us in this world and the teachers are carving us. They have the right to think for our future. If you think they are wrong revolt is the answer to it but don’t be an escapist.

Mourn because some one died, mourn for the family and friends who lost a part of them, mourn because some others might follow them but don't sympathize or mourn for the one who gave up his own life.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Saturday, March 15, 2008

First car or First Kiss... ?

Woke up this morning thinking of my first car…2001 Audi A4 2.8l Quattro. Yeah, that’s too much of an info to brag about but then its my space and I can :).

I think men are more likely to remember their first car as compared to their first kiss. The feeling of sitting behind the wheels of something that you own cannot be described. I am really bad with numbers and anniversaries but I still remember the date I bought it, the license plate number, and the day I freaking lost it.

Though I never named my car but I always considered it my girlfren my babe. I would have made love to her, I think I did lolzz. Though technically speaking it wasn’t my first car but yeah it definitely was the first I bought and I developed a powerful bond with her, the day I rested my foot on the pedal.

Its not that I don’t remember my first kiss I remember it just because it was a first kiss. All I can remember about it is that it was Vaseline flavored as this girl had some Vaseline on her lips.

Though my car had an aux and a CD player I still bought cassettes for it as it also had a cassette player. Who buys cassettes in 21st century? I vacuumed and waxed it every 10th day. It was never low on gas for the short duration I owned it… I never drove it rash but yeah I did a lot of speeding because she asked me to. I never dumped stuff carelessly in her.

Alas, that evening before X’mas I had an accident and I lost it. It was declared a total loss. I wish I had named her. I wish I could have saved her. I wish I could have spent more time with her. I had her for just 7 months. Let me name you: Jeannie… I miss you

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

...just another manic weekday

its late... m exhausted... i have been at work for 14 freakin hours and here I am resting my ass on the couch. M so tired that I don't even want to walk to my room to sleep. I am sitting here surfing nothing... TV is on but its mute... I have my headphones on and I am not able to catch the singer or lyrics from my own playlist. I wanted to blog something which has been there at the back of my mind for a while... but i don't want to pen about it now. I am so lost.

I think its more or less because I haven't stepped out for three consecutive weekends for outing. This university shit along with a fulltime job is keeping me too busy to think of something weired. I am going to treat myself this weekend.
"I am going to binge and dance. No TV No Surfing No shower No shaving No sleep for this Sat."

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Generosity comes from Selfishness...?

The word selfish/selfishness raises alarm(question) in our mind. When we hear the word selfishness what do we think? What kind of picture comes to our mind of a person who is selfish?
This word has negative connotations on us, negative impact of ones personality.

Second aspect; where do we think this negativity came from? Did someone in our life tell us that it was wrong to be selfish? Are we punished when others perceived our behavior as being selfish?

Let’s forget generosity for a moment and take a look at selfishness; caring enough about ones own self to get your needs met is selfishness.

WOW yet another question from the definition. Do we have any idea what our needs are? I believe this is a key issue. If we do not know what we need to be happy, we cnt get our needs met. This is an important concept and the only way to find this out is to take the time to check in with ourselves and see if we are happy with the way our life is. "Now probably ones way to be happy is feeling gud or content after helping someone.... if you r happy u just pass it on n it just reflects back"; Wonderful statement worth appreciating and totally agreeable to me.

Lets take what i said earlier trivially. Being happy is something what we do for our own self... anything for ones own selves meet ones need... anything for ones own self we term as selfishness. So again generosity comes from selfishness.

Mother milks her child is that generosity or selfishness... I think that can also be perceived in many ways. Mother being generous to her child and being selfish that her child this way will be healthy or may be its her duty and cannot be measured in terms of selfishness or generosity. I don't know... I ain't no saint.

I still think both are really two sides of one coin... the value of a coin comes from the number side(tails) similarly generosity comes from selfishness.

Sunday, March 02, 2008


Hickery dickery dock… tick tock tick tock…. It always tries to touch the next moment and gong as soon as it can. The clock stops, battery dies but time never stops. People say a lot of things about time, “time flies by” , “once the moment is gone time never comes back”, “time heals”, “time this time that out of time in time on time what’s the time do you have time”… blah blah

Don’t ask me what I am trying to say as I am short of time and Pink Floyd said it all:

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day

You fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way

Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town

Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain

You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today

And then one day you find ten years have got behind you

No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but its sinking

And racing around to come up behind you again

The sun is the same in the relative way, but youre older

Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time

Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines

Hanging on in quiet desperation is the english way

The time is gone, the song is over, thought Id something more to say

Home, home again

I like to be here when I can

And when I come home cold and tired

Its good to warm my bones beside the fire

Far away across the field

The tolling of the iron bell

Calls the faithful to their knees

To hear the softly spoken magic spells.